Friday, November 30, 2018

How to make a list of guests for the wedding and to invite


Making a guest list should be given special attention in preparing for the wedding ceremony. Before you start writing it, think about what your wedding will be: large and grand, average in the number of guests or in a chamber with a minimum number of guests? Given your wishes and financial capabilities, you can go two ways:
·         make a list, and then, knowing the number of guests, to start planning a budget for the wedding. But keep in mind that the more guests there are, the more expensive the celebration will be;
·         either initially decide on a budget, and on this basis decide how many guests you are ready to invite
Who to invite to the wedding
When you decide on the number of guests, you can go to the question of who exactly you want to see at the wedding.
Who really should be included in the guest list:
·         closest relatives: parents, grandfathers, grandmothers, sisters, brothers, godparents, and those relatives with whom you really closely communicate;
·         good and close friends, which you will be really happy to see at the celebration.
Whose candidates are worth discussing:
·         distant relatives;
·         colleagues, fellow students;
·         old friends.
Remember that a wedding is your holiday and it may not make sense to include in the guest list distant relatives with whom you do not see and do not communicate, new acquaintances, as well as those relatives and acquaintances you do not really want to see for some personal reason.
When making a guest list, keep in mind that, according to etiquette, both married couples and single couples should be invited together. It is also believed that spouses should be invited along with their children. But, if you think that the little guests will be bored because you do not plan to hire animators and prepare entertainment programs for them, it is better to ask the guests to come to the celebration without kids.
Compilation and correction of the list
It will be good if, after drawing up the initial list, you postpone it for several days. During this time, you will be able to think it over again, and then make some changes. You should not send invitations to guests until the list is finalized and the date of the wedding is chosen accurately. Guests in which you are sure to call 100% can be invited in advance orally. After the list has been approved and the date of the wedding will be known, it is better not to delay inviting guests, because they need to release the wedding date in their calendar in advance, and non-resident guests should plan the trip.
But be prepared that after receiving invitations, some of your guests will report that they will not be able to come to the wedding. Then you will have to re-adjust the list. It is advisable to make major changes to it in advance, at least 2-3 weeks before the scheduled date of celebration.
If you use a convenient planner of the guest list , you can simplify and speed up the whole process: you can easily make all changes, mark who will come, who does not come or has not decided, keep all contacts in one place and electronically send wedding invitations.
Useful tips
Most likely, when compiling the guest list, you will have such a special category of guests, over whom you will think for a long time to call, not to call. Especially for such cases, we have prepared a checklist of questions that will help you understand the   importance of the presence of each of these guests :
·         Do you often see this person?
·         Is your fiancĂ© / brides familiar with him?
·         How important is his presence at the wedding to you?
·         Would he welcome your invitation?
·         Is this a positive person, will he spoil the mood with his gloomy look?
·         Are there any unpleasant consequences if I invite him (I will not invite)?
·         Do you plan to communicate with this person in the future?
·         If this is a guest of a parent or relative, how will parents react if you do not invite him? Are you ready to argue with your parents?
Invite guests you really want to see during your holiday. Do not call relatives or friends only from a sense of politeness or fear that they will be offended without receiving an invitation. They can feel your insincerity, which will ruin the mood for you and them a little.
When inviting nonresidents, it will be polite for you to help with accommodation. If the banquet will be held in the restaurant at the hotel, you can learn in advance about special offers and discounts on accommodation. Foreign guests, in addition to assistance with accommodation, may need assistance with obtaining a visa, and if the person does not speak Russian, you should ask someone in advance to act as a guide and interpreter at the wedding.
It is also important to consider the maximum number of people that a selected restaurant can accept. Also, remember about the size of your wedding budget. At the same time, you should not expect that the money spent on each guest will pay off with his gift.
If you have planned a modest celebration in a narrow family circle, then you should inform your relatives and friends in advance about your plans, who may expect to receive an invitation to the wedding. This will help you avoid embarrassing situations, resentment and frustration.

Perhaps you decide to hold in the environment of the closest people only individual events, such as a wedding or painting. Then all other guests need to clearly indicate where they are invited, for example, only at a feast.

How to act in "difficult cases"
When compiling the list it is important to take into account the relations and connections of the guests. For example, if some of your relatives are at odds with each other and there is a great risk that by finding out the relationship they will spoil the whole mood of the celebration, it’s better to invite one of the parties closer to the wedding, or not to invite any of them.
If the parents of the bride or the bridegroom are divorced, then we should be especially careful to invite them along with new spouses, the appearance of which can cause undue attention and certain tension.
It is undesirable to invite your “former” to the wedding celebration, so as not to stir up the past and spoil the mood on this important day for your soulmate.
If there are relatives who, under the influence of alcohol, can make scandals or fights, it is also worth thinking carefully before including them in the guest list, even if they can be offended without receiving an invitation from you.
When drawing up the list of invitees to the wedding, you must remember that this is, first of all, your holiday, so it is up to you to decide who you will see on it. The main thing is that surrounded by your guests you can feel cozy and comfortable.

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